why october and november are often harder than september
September gets all the attention. And then September ends, and a lot of families exhale, and then October arrives and something shifts and nobody warned me it was coming. I spent two Octobers confused about why things were getting harder before I understood what was actually happening.
things that can actually help school avoidance in the first week of school
September is the hardest week of the year for a lot of families navigating school avoidance, and the first few days have a way of setting the tone for everything that follows. This is the shorter, more immediate version, the things worth doing and asking for in the first week, before everything has a chance to go wrong.
the books and podcasts that have actually helped
Yesterday's post was the practical list , organisations, helplines, websites, what to do and in what order. This one is the more personal version. The things I've actually read and listened to, some of which were exactly what I needed at exactly the right time.
you can't get your child through the school gates. now what?
One of the things I wish I'd had in the early days of this is a sequence. Not a list of organisations, not another explanation of what school avoidance is, but a practical answer to the question that was actually keeping me up at night: I can't get her to school. What do I actually do now, and in what order?
the dread arrives in August. here’s what to do with it.
August 10th. Five weeks until school starts, give or take, and the calendar that looked so reassuringly far away in June is suddenly not far away at all. The school meeting is booked, the emails have been sent, the plan exists, and still there is something sitting in the chest that the plan hasn't touched.
how to prepare for your back to school meeting (before september arrives)
August has a way of arriving faster than you think it will, and if you have a school-avoidant child, the weeks between now and the first day of school are not just summer — they're the window where the conversation with the school either happens or doesn't.
the IEP and 504 accommodations worth asking for if your child has school avoidance
One of the things nobody tells you early enough is that you are allowed to ask for specific things. Not just "support" in the vague, reassuring way schools sometimes offer it, but actual, named, documented accommodations that the school is legally required to provide once they're written into a plan.
she gets herself to camp every day. I have questions.
My daughter is a camp counselor this summer. She gets up, she gets ready, she gets there. Not without the occasional logistical wobble, not without some mornings that require more navigating than others, but she gets there. Every day.
how to use the summer to prepare for september (without making it feel like homework)
If you have a school meeting coming up, or you're just in the middle of it and could use something concrete to hold onto, the free guide below covers word-for-word responses for the conversations that don't go the way you hoped.
the post-covid rise in school avoidance: what the data actually shows
Before my daughter stopped going to school, I had a vague sense that this kind of thing happened to some kids, somewhere, occasionally. I did not have any sense that it was happening at a scale significant enough to have its own research literature, its own clinical terminology, or its own entry in a BMJ journal article with the phrase "perfect storm" in the title.
oh, you just have to get her to school
People mean well. I want to start there, because what follows is going to sound uncharitable, and I am trying very hard to remain a person who extends good faith to others, which is something I have to remind myself of more frequently than I'd like since we started navigating this particular situation.
when she stays home: what the research says about making the most of a hard day
There is a version of the home day that goes fine. She sleeps in a little, comes downstairs eventually, eats something, does some work at the kitchen table, doesn't spiral, and by 2pm the day has passed without incident and you both move on. There is also the other version, which is the one that tends to actually happen.
if you're in the middle of it — the slow mornings, the sunday evenings, the conversations with the school that don't go the way you needed them to —
this is for you.
get a note in your inbox each week. no advice you haven't already tried. just a parent who's in it too, and the occasional thing that's actually helped.